But we do. Homo sapiens is a cancer on the world, and if allowed, will spread into the universe. We are contagious cancer, as well, in that we infect one another with our suckiness.
I know I do it. I am a Debbie Downer. Spend any amount of time with me and I will, eventually, say something doomy. To non doomers, that is pretty sucky. I understand that. And I really do try to not be sucky. It’s kind of a process. Step one was to physically get as far away from people as possible. Now I’m working on keeping my mouth shut with people who don’t share my particular world view. This is much much harder. I’m not a fan of censorship of any kind, though, even self censorship. So it’s a constant conflict.
What is really unfortunate is that Homo sapiens evolved as a social animal. True hermits are extremely rare. People really do need other fucking people.
So I join small groups occasionally. Most recently, a knitting group, and a virtual group of doomers on Facebook. Neither is going well, for me, of course.
I think it has something to do with that whole idea of infection.
People are in bad moods. Maybe it’s the “election” bread and circus. Or maybe that particular show is simply a reflection of the bad mood everyone is in, here in America.
Whatever the case, we spread our vitriol. Our pettiness, our hypocrisy, our prejudices, our violence….it goes with us wherever we go. Whether it’s virtual or real life, people suck.
Eventually, I get repelled. Of course I blame myself because I am self aware enough to know that I’m an exquisitely tuned individual (aka, sensitive). I am aware that I feel things many other people are completely unaware of, or indifferent to, or something. I’ve been led to believe that my emotions may be stronger than most other people, as well. All of which is to say, I’m not a good group member.
Yet, I need conversation, some contact with other Homo sapiens. It’s a conundrum.
Until there is a diagnosis and treatment for Homo sapiens dysphoria, which I believe would be my label…..I much prefer it to misanthropy……I’m stuck.
I would rather be an elephant. Or a bonobo.
Barring that, I wish some big brain somewhere would invent a spray or suit or some kind of a protection barrier from other people’s particular form of suckiness. As an exquisitely tuned individual, I’m constantly reeling and trying to recover from what feel like assaults. All efforts to crimp me (make me tougher) seem to have failed.