Billy got it wrong

The first thing we do, let’s kill all the lawyers.”
                                                              Henry V, Act IV, Scene II

If I were to ever be put in charge of the revolution, I would not go after the lawyers first. No, if I were in charge, we’d kill all of the bankers first.

Even Credit Unions suck. They suck only a little less than banks, anymore.  I just joined one and found out that checks with both Mr. Nobody and I listed on them cannot be deposited into my own account, even endorsed.  They can only be deposited into a joint account.  This is new to me and I don’t like it one little bit.

We have just been through the buying and selling of a house, for the first time since 1999, and my, the process has changed.

For the buying, only just less than DNA samples and a rectal and/or pelvic exams were required. I’m serious. The lending organization, Vinson Mortgage by name, actually required a copy of our marriage license. The demand for information, and for speed, was unbelievable. Speed, I might add, only on our parts. Lenders feel no urgency when it comes to actually parting with some of your money.

We are middle class people. We have more assets than liabilities. These facts can easily be checked (and my, the credit trackers have been busy with us!). When considering a loan, they have to assess risk. I understand that. But what they really want to do is to make risk free loans. They will degrade you, insult you, treat you as if you were children, all to reduce their risk.

They ding you for having too many credit checks. Like we can control that. Of course we went through the pre-approval process and that must have been like blood in the water to the banking sharks. It showed up on a credit report….”too many credit checks”. Oh, and an error about owing a utility company money. Bwahahahaaha! Like you can ever owe a utility company money without being threatened with turn offs! We show no money owed on our monthly bills.

My point here is not to (just) whine, but muse on the slide, in this country at least, toward treating people like crap.  I mean, do you remember the days of In Search of Excellence and the whole concept of customer satisfaction?  I was doing time in a corporation when that concept went viral (in pre-internet days) and everybody everywhere was measuring customer satisfaction.

The eighties were a shit decade, but at least then there were standards of respect and care for people who pay for your services.

When even people with assets and few liabilities are treated like scum, you have to wonder how others are faring.  My guess would be; not well.

For the selling, not so much the money part, but the inspection part was fun. I feel for the buyers of our house; that inspection was total bullshit. That inspector was incompetent, not to mention a disgusting person. Left all kinds of evidence of his presence in our home, including leaving the oven on and a door unlocked. I still feel faintly nauseated when I think about it.

He told the buyers the roof needed to be replaced asap.  We disputed that.  The buyers sent an actual roofing expert out and he agreed that a replacement was not necessary, much less asap.  There were repairs.  After 14 years and 7 months of life, some upkeep is needed.  We were okay with that.  Then, the idiot inspector from Ace Inspections identified three other items for repair.  One by one, I had experts in.  To a person, each one of them has said, “nothing wrong with (fill in the blank)”.  We shelled out hundreds of dollars.

Inspections, I thought, were about making sure the house is structurally sound and up to code; safe, in other words.

Ace Inspections, it must be said, did not protect their client, their customer, the people paying for their services. 

And bankers have no customers.  Their entire focus is on the money.  They don’t care about people or plans or hopes or dreams.  They don’t care about keeping their word.  They don’t care about laws or common sense.  What they care about is getting and keeping money.  They want your money before you sign the papers that transfer ownership.  Then they’ll sell your mortgage as quickly as possible to someone else who doesn’t care about anything but money.

The process, which seems to me should have some joy in it, was long and painful and unnecessarily demeaning.

The first thing we do, let’s kill all the bankers.




Offered as a bonus, since I missed a Sunday.

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