The I Don’t Know What This is Post

Funny thing, I’ve been writing and writing and still can’t figure out what I’m trying to say.

Pondering the greatest existential crisis ever renders me scattered.

Now scientists are warning us to prepare for a 4C future. How we do that is anyone’s guess, since it is not possible to survive those temps.

There is no more vacillation on my part. Near term human extinction (NTE or NTHE) is upon us.

Australia just announced that they don’t need no stinking carbon emission goals.

When the first American city is wiped out (and place your bets….New Orleans? Miami? Or..heh heh…NYC?), there is going to be chaos, panic, and a shitload of “no one could have predicted this” (which is a personal trigger of mine, because tons of people have predicted it) and its counterpart, “we’ll rebuild, we’re resilient.” It will all be sound and fury, signifying nothing.

We few, we lucky few, we band of doomers – we see it now.

We’ve been in mourning for the planet for quite some time. We are the few who seem to be paying attention. Some 600,000 bats were killed in 2012 alone, from those “renewable” energy sources, wind turbines. Who needs bats? They just eat insects and pollinate; they are not important.

I could provide a long list of important species we kill off every day, every year.

Utah Phillips said it. “The planet is not dying. It is being killed. And the people doing the killing have names and addresses.”

Yep. And they still walk around this earth, making money, being respected.

This is the Sixth Great Extinction. Happy times.

Rage and bitterness can eat you alive. It seeps out at inappropriate times and at inappropriate people and leaves me feeling even shittier.

When you know that 200 species go extinct each and every day because of us and our fucking industrial civilization, it can make you crazy.

Most of us, amongst ourselves, will admit that we actually are relieved that the virus known as Homo sapiens will go extinct very soon. We have been a horror for the planet.

What we leave behind us, though, will wipe out pretty much all life on earth.

All of the pipelines, storage tanks, nuclear plants, chemicals, all of the crap we couldn’t live without will seep, ooze and eventually go “boom” in our absence. Who cares, right? We won’t be here to see it, so fuck it.

And at this same time, all of the social fabric that provides safety nets and protections are being blown apart by the Koch brothers and industrialists everywhere – and the Transpacific Partnership agreement codifies corporate power. Even Congress isn’t allowed to see that one. Wikileaks brought it to light. And Julian Assange can’t come out of the Ecuadorian embassy.

So many horrors, so little chronicling time.

Life on earth will become harsher and harsher. It already is, of course, but there is no end in sight.

More and more people have begun to ask: How do we live with this knowledge? Once you see, you can’t unsee.

I’m 56 and I’ve got more evidence to prove that all life on earth will cease to exist in decades than people do who believe in god, and yet, more people believe in god than extinction.

Of course, if people actually were to wake up and smell the rotting corpses, we’d need those FEMA camps sooner rather than later.

When you are a doomer, you have to look some pretty dark thoughts in the eye and go on in spite of them.

It makes laughter precious. It makes compassion a miracle. It makes joy all the sharper.
I live wide awake now. I live with clarity. I choose to see reality, to feel the pain, and to go on in spite of it.

Next up is how to practice compassion. The world will need it more than ever. Doomers, being the advance scouts, are doing (whether we want to or not) the internal work to overcome our rage and despair and try to become caring and compassionate people in spite of our total lack of deservingness. That’s a tall order and I’m a small person, but I think, I feel, that that is where I need to go.

I just don’t know, yet, quite how to get there.

Advertisements
This entry was posted in Uncategorized and tagged , , , , , , , , , , , , , , , , , . Bookmark the permalink.

9 Responses to The I Don’t Know What This is Post

  1. witsendnj says:

    Thank you – that was beautiful.  I posted it in the Panic Room – it seems appropriate.

    https://www.facebook.com/groups/628659907172309/

    especially because other fb groups are impoloding with ego and infighting, jeez!  So often, even people that pretty much agree can’t respect each other.

    THAT’S why I love the apocalypse blog.

    Gail

    >________________________________ > From: i got somethin to say >To: witsendnj@yahoo.com >Sent: Sunday, November 17, 2013 11:35 AM >Subject: [New post] The I Don’t Know What This is Post > > > > WordPress.com >igotsomethin posted: “Funny thing, I’ve been writing and writing and still can’t figure out what I’m trying to say. Pondering the greatest existential crisis ever renders me scattered. Now scientists are warning us to prepare for a 4C future. How we do that is anyone’s ” >

  2. Karla Lindquist says:

    fantastic piece. and a reminder that there was a reason we attempted to form community where ever we could find it with what precious little time remains.

  3. Robb McNeill says:

    I couldn’t have said it better myself. Good luck to you and may the force be with us all.

  4. rootsandruins says:

    This is pretty much exactly how I feel and everyone I know feels. I am 30 years old. My generation seems to get it. We just don’t know what to do. The only thing that could possibly save us is an end to free market capitalism with a public hanging of industry leaders. This will never happen. We are done. The thing that sucks the most is that we all have so much student debt and no purchasing power to buy guns, ammo, and supplies and squirrel away somewhere far from industrial civilization like the retired boomers can. What are we supposed to do besides high grade pharmaceuticals from Silk Road?

    • igotsomethin says:

      No one, not even the retired boomers squirreled away from industrial civilization, is going to make it out alive. If I were you, I’d learn a practical skill like plumbing or carpentry that can be traded.bartered, and live as off the grid and happily as you possibly can. Resist the industrial economy. Resist the lies. Live life. Love in spite of it all.

  5. Bev says:

    I always surprise myself with how ordinary life is, even knowing what I know. There seems to be a lot of mental illness around me these days, in people who aren’t doomers, and I can’t explain why I seem to be coping with life better than them, but your idea of looking dark thoughts in the eye and going on is maybe something we should be teaching children. Thanks for writing this.

Thanks for reading!

Fill in your details below or click an icon to log in:

WordPress.com Logo

You are commenting using your WordPress.com account. Log Out / Change )

Twitter picture

You are commenting using your Twitter account. Log Out / Change )

Facebook photo

You are commenting using your Facebook account. Log Out / Change )

Google+ photo

You are commenting using your Google+ account. Log Out / Change )

Connecting to %s